Television Broadcast
by Wynde
Summary: Read.. And you shall find out.
1. Default Chapter

This fanfic is based on Final Fantasy 8. It's in the past, all new obstacles and problems are occurring at this point.  
  
Zell: HEY HEY! Squall! Want to be a guest in my live television show buddy?!  
  
Squall: …..  
  
Zell: Fujin is going to be there! And so is….. –He coughs- Rinoa..  
  
Squall: -Mumbles- How the..?  
  
Zell: What was that?  
  
Squall: Nothing.  
  
  
  
Zell shrugged his shoulders and forced Squall to follow him to the broadcasting station.  
  
Zell: Okay! Here we go! You are the man of the hour!  
  
Squall: ……  
  
Backstage: 5…. 4…. 3… 2.. 1.. Start!  
  
Zell: H..H..Hey! A..And W..Welcome to.. Zell's Love Machine!  
  
Squall: -What the hell…?-  
  
Zell: What have three HOT! Er.. I mean LOVELY woman to choose from! Isn't Squally boy here lucky?!  
  
Squall: …..No.  
  
Zell: Alright, alright. Bachlorette number one is a spunky girl with a flipped hair do! Bachlorette number two is OBSSESSED with Squall.. Literally. And Bachlorette number three is an anger-filled beast who is just in this for the money!  
  
Bachlorette 3: RAGE!  
  
-Behind the screen, shading the woman's looks, there are screams of staff (men) crying out loud in pain.-  
  
Zell: ….Uhm… Erm.. Okay.. Anyway.. Squall.. You will now meet one of these lovely ladies. You have no choice but to choose one and go out on a date.. So make this quick!  
  
Backstage: -Men speak in Zell's ear piece- NO NO NO! Damnit Zell, he has to ask questions first!  
  
Zell: OH! CRAP! ….. –Coughs- But first you must ask them questions Squall.. Before you meet them all and choose.  
  
Backstage: -Screams in his ear piece again- NO! He chooses before he sees them!  
  
Zell: GAH! WAIT! You have to ask questions.. Then choose a woman.. And THEN you will see them all... Okay?  
  
Squall: ……  
  
Zell: …. You have to ask questions now!  
  
Squall: Number.. 3.. Do you favor the power of good or evil?  
  
Three: ….. RAGE!  
  
Zell: Oh boy..  
  
Squall: Two.. Uh.. What do you enjoy doing?  
  
Two: OH OH! That's SO easy! I like dancing silly! And I like dancing with you even if you don't like it my lover Squall you!  
  
Squall: …. One… Do you want to be here?  
  
One: -Giggles- Well, yes I do. It sounded like fun so I joined in! Tee hee!  
  
Squall: …. –I have the worst feeling about this-  
  
Zell: WOO HOO! We will take a phone call before Squall chooses his date for the night!  
  
The phone rings and Zell picks up.  
  
Zell: Hello caller. What would you like to tell Squall?  
  
Mystery Caller: Squall…! I'm going to kill you! If your date doesn't! BWAHAHAHA!  
  
Squall: … At least someone still hates me.  
  
Mystery Caller: Oh and Chicken Wuss, I"ll get you too! BWAHAHA!  
  
Zell: Grrr.. –He gets angry and starts practicing for a fight.  
  
Mystery Caller: Your show sucks Chicken Wuss! BWAH!  
  
Zell: I'LL GET YOU SEIFER!  
  
Seifer: …..How'd you know it was me?! –Throws a temper tantrum- That isn't fair! You guys always get me!  
  
Zell: …..You…. Are so…. Moronic..  
  
At that point, Zell hangs up the phone, laughing hysterically. –Click.-  
  
Zell: Okay buddy! Now it's your time to choose a lucky lady!  
  
Squall: ….Uh… I think.. Uh.. Two.  
  
Zell: CONGRATULATIONS! Bachlorette please reveal yourself!  
  
Rinoa: YIPPIE! -She runs over to Squall and hops onto him. She nearly knocks him over- Yes! I knew it was love! We were destined to be together my love bug you!  
  
Squall: ….. –Oh crap… Not her-  
  
Rinoa: Muah! –Plants a kiss on his lips- Lovey Dovey, we are going on a romantic dinner. Dancing and wine and. Doughnuts!  
  
Fujin: RAGE! -She runs out from behind the screen, screaming and throwing a tantrum before beginning to beat up the camera man on camera two.-  
  
Zell: …….Fujin….. Take Prozac, I beg you to!  
  
Fujin: YOU! –Out of anger, Fujin starts to jet after Zell for his comment-  
  
Zell: EEP! –Runs away, crying hysterically.- Heeeelp Mee!  
  
A noise comes from the first curtain as Selphie comes rolling out. She feel off her chair and tripped her way out from behind the screen.  
  
Selphie: Tee hee! Oopsies!  
  
Squall: ……  
  
Rinoa: Oh I love you Squall! What?! Me?! Marry you?! I WILL I WILL!  
  
Squall: ……..!  
  
Zell Stops running after hearing Rinoa.  
  
Zell: You asked her to marry you?! Dude, you rock! Well look at that, even before the date he fell in love!  
  
It was a mistake for Zell to stop, because right after, Fujin rammed into his back, tackling him into the ground, face first.  
  
Producer: ……. Go.. . To… Commercial.. NOW!  
  
-TV Show ends.- 


	2. Commercial Part 2

--Commercial--  
  
On television around the world, it shows a beautiful field with a variety of foliage spread around. In no time what so ever, she commercial begins to crack, as a sinister cackle can be heard. Now, who could that be?  
  
????: AHAHAH! Watch now as I take over all the television sets in the world! I will rule this entire planet! AHAHAH!  
  
Random Person at Home: .. You're kidding me, right?  
  
????: Do you all think I'm kidding! I kid you not! And I bet none of you can discover who I am! AHAHAH!  
  
Just then, the static on the television screens fade, and a figure appears. Mainly, the face of a man, none other than Seifer. Squall, staring at the television because of his short break from the show, blinked.  
  
Squall: . Moron ..  
  
????: AHAHA! Call me up if you dare! Try and guess who I am! The winner gets to die! EHEHE!  
  
Squall picks up the phone, and called the number appearing on the television. 1-800-GUESS-ME  
  
????: Hello? Hello hello?! Can you guess?!  
  
Squall: Seifer.. You are an idiot.  
  
Seifer: ?! How'd you guess?!  
  
Squall: .. I see your face on the television  
  
Seifer: WHAT?! You do not see me! You lie! Because.. I'm Invincible! AHAHA!  
  
Seifer's attention turned toward the television that was opposite of him, before letting out a scream.  
  
Seifer: NO! I CAN NOT BE SEEN! NOOOOO!!  
  
In a fit, without paying attention, Seifer ran toward the camera. Within just a few seconds, Seifer rammed his head into the camera, and fell backwards. This display of stupidity could be seen all wround the world. Opening his eyes, Seifer found himself on the floor, before screaming  
  
Seifer: SHUT OFF CAMERA! NOW! NO MORE BROADCAST.. AHHH! MY HEAD!  
  
Right after his scream of pain, the commercial shut off and returned to the game show, Zell's Love Machine 


End file.
